Day 8 Munich Folkestone

As i said on day 7, Munich isn’t just a paradise for people who love Oktoberfest type parties, it is also home of one of Germanies biggest Automotive companies: Bayerische Motor Werken or for those who still haven’t figured it out: B.M.W. And this is where we stop for the final leg of our entertainment section.

The B.M.W World and museum.

For 2 reasons: Edwin and I love those cars, Secondly, well just because we can.

Before I even mention the cars, the building itself is a piece of Architecture. It is a temple of modernity, erected in the name of Germans automotive might and glory. (Believe it or not, this is from me).

See for yourself.

And then you have the vehicles.

Not just Bmw but Rolls Royce and Mini.

When you buy a BMW you can pick it up in Munich and have a demo of your vehicle in this building and drive home with your newly acquired “ultimate driving machine”.

Talking of car purchases, Edwin scraped his savings and went all out on a Brand new X6.

Obviously we both went on a virtual shopping spree and enjoyed both cars and bikes.

And then we jumped back in ours, making our way towards U.K.

It was meant to be a fast paced race on the German motorway, except for one thing I didn’t think of: THE DUTCH and their caravans clogging every piece of Autobahn.

So we trundled via Luxembourg and Belgium stopping for shopping on the way back. Luxembourg diesel is 65p a litre, can’t say no to that.

And boarded the last ferry at midnight.

As you can see, mini me had a hard day.

So you might wonder why we rushed back to U.K rather than stop overnight.
Well let’s face it, we did 2235 miles together and really had the time of our lives,  but at the end of the day, there’s one thing you can’t beat, it’s Mummy’s love…

Day 7 SaasFee Munich

Alright after reflection, I’m cancelling the Italian part of the trip. the Stelvio pass is the ultimate European road experience, but there’s a difference between a guy almost going through his midlife crisis driving at the front and a 4 and a half year old sausage sitting at the back who would probably throw up his breakfast with me at the wheel. So we skip a stage and make it for Munich.

Still a long drive considering there was a 5 hours according to the sat nav. But the Swiss do it differently. Instead of making my way back on the Geneva lake and up north again , there is a cross mountain train where you put your car in.

It also gave Edwin the chance to do a bit of “driving”.​

​So with 90 minutes less on the trip and a break in the tunnel, we crossed the border in a much more relaxed way.

Www.bls.ch/autoverlad

Goppenstein Kandersteg.

Halfway through, we encountered a slice of Austria squeezed between CH and DE. With a beautiful lake town called Bregenz which has  a floating opera on its surface. 

To some of you, it might sound like a familiar place, and you would be right.

Quantum of Solace, the Opera scene.

Instead of trying to snipe a baddy with a laser scope, we went for a much more reasonable ice cream.

Finally we reached Germany with its no speed limit Autobahns and teared the Tarmac with all the power the car could muster.

But the evening wasn’t quite over yet. After a week of non stop restaurants, I decided to stay in and eat a salad…

Naaaaaaah this is Munich after all.

Taxi to Marienplatz please and throw me an Hgv full of porc and sauerkraut on my plate please. And a “tiny” beer to rinse.

http://www.ratskeller.com/unsere-raeumlichkeiten.html

Needless to say the digestive walk with Edwin on my shoulders was mandatory.

So we’ve seen the traditional side of Munich.

Tomorrow we will see the high tech side, but that’s another story…

Day 6 Chelieu-Lausanne-SaasFee

Goodbye France, hello Switzerland .
Ahhhh Switzerland , the bank of Europe.

A squeaky clean shiny country that is so packed with gold that driving through Geneva with a 3 series makes you feel like a pleb. Well that’s if customs let you in.

Don’t mess around with Swiss customs. Ever.

Don’t drive over the speed limit. They will send the fine to U.K

Just behave.

Anyway we head to Lausanne where my grand parents live, a sort of Ibiza for wealthy pensioners parked on Geneva lake so that Edwin can see his Great grandparents. Not every kid has that privilege so it had to be done.

Another restaurant (I need to stop these caloriefests).

Grandparents : Are you staying with us tonight?
No we’re in a tent.

Do you want us to pay for a hotel?

No we’re in a tent.

Can we do anything to make you do not sleep on a floor with pieces of plastic over your head?

No we’re in a tent.

Swiss grandparents live in an artificial world where they believe that any accommodation that doesn’t have the word spa/resort/golf is some sort of sordid lair where you’re guaranteed to be dismantled by a bunch of hoodies, so having 2 generation of heirs sleep in a camping was a big no/no.
Sorry (great) grandchildren . If you die tonight there will be nobody left to open those gold packed vaults. We haven’t “worked” all life to have this stash go back to the Swiss state.

We were subsequently forced into Swiss luxury. Queue the epic chalet hotel. You can’t even drive there. You parc in a big underground mountain hole and take an electric cart. With an immaculate white dressing gown, wooden floors you can eat on and chemical free orange juice made of fruits selected and picked by the hands of a Himalayan virgin goddess that sings every morning around the orange tree to enhance the life of the fruits.

Served in a mouth blown venitian crystal glass cleaned in a dishwasher that is thrown away after every use.

Oh and I forgot the sprinkle of saffron and cinnamon on top.

After dying of boredom having nothing to do apart from relaxing sitting on our balcony watching the sun go down on The mountains, we went to our silky beds whilst probably 4 ex KGB officers guarded our room.
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Day 5 Chelieu Chamonix Chelieu

Starting the day pretty early since I never sleep more than 8 hours, here we go again towards Chamonix. One of France’s historical ski resorts, only a stone throw away from Switzerland and Italy . It’s also the gateway to the Montblanc, not the luxury pen, Europe’s biggest mountain.
The whole idea was to go to the aiguille du midi and enjoy the view that gives you that empowering feeling that you’re in charge of Europe.

Unfortunately the weather gods weren’t with us so Edwin and I went for a bit of local French food and headed to the restaurant. Never mind being in charge of Europe. Being in charge of a French dish is equally satisfying.

We went for tartiflette which is a typical mountain calorie bomb made of potatoes melted cheese, onions and bacon.
We ended up going to the aiguille du midi anyway. A 2 stop cable car bringing us to an altitude of 3800 something meters.
Even if the view was disappointing , it was still an experience in itself. 

-First because it was snowing , which isn’t necessarily what you would expect from a summer holiday in France in August.

-Secondly the whole engineering of the site:

How it had been built 60 years ago, by some raving lunatic mountaineers in need of an adrenaline fix was impressive.

-Finally because of hypoxia, a fancy Greek term meaning lack of oxygen. I like the word hypoxia. It’s the kind of word to use in a business or family dinner. It makes you look intelligent even if your I.Q is equivalent to that of a retarded turkey.

Hypoxia means that as soon as you exit the cable car you have a sort of drunken feeling, not dissimilar to the feeling of Nitrous (Those who have had a cheap giggle whilst waiting for their partner to do all the hard work at the maternity will understand).
After making Edwin the highest altitude 4 and a half year old boy in Europe ( I put him on my shoulders just to make sure) we made our way down again, and drove back to Chelieu for our final night. 

Day 4 Albertville Chelieu

700 miles into our trip, we now stop in Chelieu. A little french country village with barely more than a church and a few barn houses. For me it’s a bit more than that. It’s a trip down memory lane. The house is where I used to stay as a kid for my summer holidays. Happy days of simple things such as catching butterflies with a net or feeding the horse

The nice thing is that nothing has changed. My net is still there, as well as my wheelbarrow. 

In an era where everything goes faster, it’s nice to press pause and slow down. 

Now as a father, it’s pleasant to see that Edwin is enjoying these simple things too. 

As I child I was miles away from thinking that 35 years down the line, my mini me would do exactly the same. He even sat in my favourite cherry tree just like I used to do.In the evening, it was agricultural education. Edwin discovered that corn wasn’t just something out of a tin can.

 

Day 3 Grenoble -Albertville

Still on the family part of the trip this time with granny, and King and cha Edwins aunty and uncle. Another incredible session of food and drinks drenched with sunshine.

Almost too much of it.

So we ended with a swim at the lake.

Edwin who was scared of dogs for an unknown Reason, has conquered his fear. He has managed to walk bo, a dog twice his weight… Not bad for a beginner.

Day 2 dole Grenoble

So Edwin wakes up in the morning, out of the tent: Daddy look in the sky, a nice view on hot air balloons as the mist dissipated. So relaxing 🙂

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The first part of the tour had been a quick catch up with the in laws, giving Edwin the opportunity to see his Grandpa. Really hot weather which gave time to dry the tent and good food as you would expect in France.

Day 1 Folkestone to Dole

450 miles thrown in the face of Edwin, not bad for a beginner. Although these days cars and roads are much more comfortable than when I was a kid. In the late 80’s such a trip would have needed 3 stopovers with the AA.

After a relax time in the ferry, here we are in France cruising towards the Alps with a beautiful sunshine. 

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I’ve had so many questions from Edwin, it’s been educational too. What are windmills for? Why is there a time difference between UK and France etc…

Finally we stopped for our first night in a tent. I must admit, I’ve been concerned about this since I’ve never slept in a tent in my life. Edwin was really excited so it was reassuring. After waiting to see the international space station and check the planets, we fell asleep.I thought we would be frozen to death in the morning eaten by wolves but no. It’s genuinely warm. Must say, I’m a bit scared also. I tend to travel in hotels in a safe environment with aircon, flat screen TVs and a minibar. SO SLEEPING OUTSIDE??? A tent doesn’t protect from French chainsaw murderers.

So why am I writing this at 4h30 in the morning then?

This scratchy noise near us. I had to open the tent to see what was going on.

Only a rabbit. (Note to myself, next time I go camping get an AK47 on the dark web to secure cheap breakfast)

The weapon

Yeah, this faithful car is going to take us away, hopefully with no breakdowns. Normally I tend to drive stress free, but this time I checked levels , tyres etc….

Full tank and off we go.

Good bye Mummy

We knew it would be tough for mummyo but we love her to bits. Poor little mummy after 4 years taking care of “petit ploum” (and she did a very good job I have to say) separated from her sausage. It’s tough. But we’ll be back soon 🙂